RefrACTing the Light

Nine months of 2013 are gone already.  Where did the time go?

The end of the month brings my ninth update on my yearlong goal to ACT--a year of intentional action, a year of controlling my reactions, a year of prayerfully finding 365 ways to serve others.

I find myself coming up short of my goals so many days each month--so many times when I look back on the day and want to hit the restart button. But then again, so many times this month I have had the word refract go through my mind: to make (light) change direction when it goes through at an angle.  I've noticed how I have taken inspiration I have received and how I've let it go through me and how that light has spread to others.

Act purposely: September was a month of adjustment around here.  Not only did we have the big wedding to prepare for, we also had to adjust to Mom being a graduate student.  I initially thought that school would be easy and not too time consuming, but I was wrong.  Less than two weeks into my first class I realized that I would not have enough time in my days to complete my schoolwork, my exercise, my carpools, my grocery shopping, my homework assistance, my game attendance, my shoe tying, my photography, my kid bathing, my house cleaning, my date nights, my showers, my cooking, my Sunday School lessons, my blogging, and my family time if something didn't change. 

I remembered a talk given by Sheri Dew many years ago, when she revealed how she had added time in her day to write a biography of President Gordon B. Hinckley. Already completely overwhelmed with her life schedule, Sheri arose every morning at 3 am to find time for her writing.  I knew that 3 am was completely outside my abilities, but 5 am wouldn't be.  I asked Heavenly Father to help me get up that early so that I could find an extra hour in my days, and He has helped me.  On mornings when I'm feeling especially lazy, I remind myself that my purposeful action works in tandem with God's guiding hand in my life, and I have seen the blessings that have come from those bonus early morning hours--whether I've used them to exercise, to write, to read, or to do laundry, the time has been well spent each day. I've had to let a few things slide--my house hasn't been as clean as I would like (that one's been hard), and meals have been a little more last-minute, but I think I will be able to find a new normal very soon.

Act not react:  The wedding and its preparations were my focus for acting and not reacting this month.  Every morning before the wedding, I would include a plea in my prayers that I would be able to control my reactions during stressful times and keep in mind that what I really wanted for this wedding was the happiness of others.  I got really annoyed a few times and got my feelings hurt twice, but I just swallowed my bitter reactions and moved on without reacting.  I truly wanted the happiness of others more than my own, and I saw the benefit of controlling my tongue even when I wanted to lash out. And guess what?  It was fine--who knew?

Acts of service:  I did throw a huge party for 90 this month, and I did help put on a huge reception and wedding, but I as I look back on this month, the small act of having lunch with a friend will linger in my mind.  As I listened to her pour out what was weighing down her heart, I was so grateful I could be her friend right at that moment.  The longer I think about this service goal, the more I realize that it's the little things we do that make the difference in the daily quality of our lives.

Despite my weaknesses and failures, I feel myself changing each month, each month bringing more light into my life, and each month bringing more opportunities for me to refract that light into the lives of others.

Foto Friday--Evie Scissorhands

When I snapped this picture of the little girls on Sunday morning, I didn't think much about it.

I thought they were so cute sitting there on the floor.

Little did I know that, three days later, I would receive this picture from Evie's friend's mom:

I was running Micah to soccer practice right at that moment, and I hoped that it wouldn't be as bad as this picture made it look.

I was wrong.

It was much worse than this picture made it look--much worse. The girls had each cut their own hair--her friend had only gotten two snips from the front, but Evie had butchered her own blond locks.

 She had taken it almost to the scalp in one place.

 She had left a rat tail in the back, but the rest was gone.

This is the "good" side.  We were really lucky that the front part of her hair had been in a small ponytail, because that's what saved her from cutting every bit of length off her entire head.

I found this pile in the bathroom (and part of it in the family room--it had been a mobile salon, evidently). 

 I cried.  Lily cried. All of that beautiful blond hair.

 Evie didn't seem that upset at first.  She was pretty nonchalant about it all--that is, until I broke the news that she could no longer wear ponytails, a Rapunzel braid crown, or ringlets. Then she was inconsolable.

 My cousin's wife, Taylor, just happened into the kitchen as we were evaluating the damage.  Taylor was shocked (as were we), and she ran to get her hair scissors.

 She did her best to salvage what she could.  With every snip, Taylor would mutter some version of, "Wow.  I can't believe how bad this is."

 Lucky for us, Taylor is a professional, and after a few minutes, she had worked some magic. 

This is the final result:

  The wisps Evie left in the front frame her face nicely.

 Taylor was able to blunt cut the back so that it's not too short (not too short--that's relative).

 The left side was the shortest, and Taylor did her best to make it look a little smoother and not so painfully short underneath.

 Hyrum was upset that Eve was so sad, so he kept telling her, "It's okay, Evie.  You still look pretty.  It still looks pretty . . . well, it still looks kinda pretty . . . "

In my initially shocked and upset stage, I told Eve that I hoped Taylor could fix it so that she wouldn't look like a boy--not my best parenting moment. Later that evening, as we were headed over to the church, Evie put on her sparkle shoes from the wedding and told me, "There.  Now I'm a girl."  I had to explain that hair length doesn't make you a boy or a girl, that she will always be a girl, and that her hair was short but that was okay.  She thought on that for a minute, then she asked, "So, is Daddy a girl?"

I never would have cut her hair like this on purpose, but now that it's been two days, her new pixie look has really grown on me.

Grown on me enough to order her a Tinkerbell costume for Halloween.

Happy weekend, friends.  Fall has finally hit AZ--temps around 90 this weekend--and it feels fantastic. Enjoy the changing leaves and crisp air wherever you are!

Wedding--Portrait Fail

On Tuesday, I told you that the only thing I wanted from the wedding was a family portrait.  Remember?

Well, I stretched the truth just a little.

What I really, really wanted was a family portrait and individual photos of each of my kids for my staircase frames.

After we had been hurriedly assembled for a family portrait, I tried to quickly shepherd each child to a semi-quiet corner for an individual shot.

I should know better than to try and hurry portraits.  It never works.  Ever. Some photos were worse than others.  Tucker's and Karli's was so bad that I don't even dare post it.  Let's just leave it as the great mystery from the day, shall we?

Some were fails.

Hyrum's was cute but blurry.  If I had had more than a few moments, I think this one could have been great.

 Ben's is a just miss.  He looks sleepy and unnatural.

It always takes Lily about fifteen shots before she relaxes into the camera and trusts me.  Unfortunately for Lily, I only had five shots, so she looks forced and posed.

The Brubaker family wasn't a complete fail.  In fact, it's actually quite cute, if you don't look for the top of Sam's head.  Bummer, because those kids--so cute, aren't they?

Two photos may actually make it onto the wall, if they can handle being blown up to 12x12.

Micah only sat for three shots, and all three of them looked just like this one. When did he grow up, can somebody tell me?

My favorite shot of the night has to be this one below.  Evie loved having her own flowers to hold, and flowers combined with a "princess dress" and "Rapunzel hair"--yeah.  Pretty perfect.

The main problem is that I waited too late in the night and had too little light to make these exactly what I wanted them to be.  I shot them at 800 ISO, so I know they won't blow up well, and they are a little muddy since it was so dark.

At least I tried.  Who knows when I'll get new ones. The pictures currently on my wall look like this:

Remember this blog header?  These are the pictures that are still hanging on my wall--three years old this Christmas.

Maybe at Christmastime I'll be able to corral the whole group again . . .

The Night Before the Wedding

Tucker and Karli were really crunched for time while they were home, so we decided that the best time to host the groom's dinner was the night before the wedding.

I love planning parties.  I love decorating for parties.  I love seeing the big picture in my head and then seeing it all fall into place.

Thursday was a busy day.  We ironed and set up and made special trips for more supplies to the florist, grocery store, and back home again.

Here are a few details:

 One of my favorite things--the polka dot straws

Deciding to have most of the dinner catered was the best decision ever.  It was so nice to have the food just show up without the stress of making it. Another de-stressor--having three of your best buddies manning the kitchen and food tables all night.  I realized as I went to bed that night that I hadn't thought one second about the kitchen, the food, the cleanup--any of it.  Thanks, Janette, Jamie, and Lori.  You are the best!

I wanted to make this feel like a fun, not-so-serious party, because neither Tucker nor Karli is very serious. Since the two of them quote movies ALL the time, I asked them a few weeks ago what their most quoted movies were, then I created a centerpiece for each table that reflected each movie.

This table was at the entrance to the hall.

After grabbing an Italian ice, the guests then wandered around to see if they could guess which movie was represented by each centerpiece.

See if you can figure out which movie goes with which centerpiece. (Key at end of this post*****)

Movies--Mulan, Kung Fu Panda, Star Wars, Despicable Me, Napoleon Dynamite, Ice Age, Monsters Inc., Phineas and Ferb, Up, and Elf.

At Christmastime, candy canes are usually . . . $2 a box? When you have to special order them on Amazon in August, they cost twice that!

The dessert table is in the background--the bowl is full of ramen noodles with chopsticks.

The paper is a map that says "Tri-State Area."

I missed one of the centerpieces.  See if you can guess what this movie is:

I paired the wrestling masks with a bowl of tortilla chips and an ear of corn on a stick.  Did you guess it?

I loved how this activity loosened everyone up from the second they arrived, helped them meet people they didn't know, and taught them a little bit more about the bride and groom.

Brad greeted everyone, Grandpa Greg said the blessing on the food (where he accidentally called Karli "Jen" (her mom's name) and he then wanted to disappear from embarrassment all night), and then we ate.

 Hyrum loved the Kalua pork--Grandpa said my boy ate four full plates of it!

 My sister and her husband flew in from Idaho just as the dinner was starting, and I was so happy they could make it down (even though Alisa had strep for most of the weekend--great timing).

And of course we had the best desserts--Grandma Tucker's mint brownies, my friend Shauna's white chocolate-dipped ginger snaps (heaven on earth), and of course chocolate chip cookies.  Plenty for all.

While everyone got settled with their desserts, I revealed the answers to the game and let Tucker and Karli share their favorite quotes.  It was hilarious.

 Tucker pulled Karli up in front of everyone and surprised her with a song he'd written for her--"I Chose You." 

 It was so tender to watch her reaction--these two really are a beautiful fairy tale.  I can't say that about everyone, but it's true about them.

 I hosted parties for these guys so many times over the years--fake prom, homecoming, Monday lunches.

I love them all, and it was fantastic to see them all together again that night.

Karen snapped a picture of me bustling around after it was over--yes, I really was there.

Everyone seemed to have a good time being together and getting into the spirit of the weekend.  When it was over, Tucker was supposed to head off for a quick bachelor party, but that plan was scrapped when Karen accidentally backed into one of the bachelor's cars as she was leaving my house--oops.

Aside from the small fender bender, it was a perfect night--completely perfect.  I checked my fitbit pedometer that night as I went to bed--a new record of over 41,000 steps.  I crawled into bed exhausted but completely satisfied with it all.


*****In order, the movies are Star Wars, Monsters Inc., Up, Ice Age, Despicable Me, Napoleon Dynamite, Mulan (huns popping out of the snow like daisies, go kick some honey buns, and Yao--king of the rock), Elf, Kung Fu Panda, Phineas and Ferb, and the bonus movie was Nacho Libre. How many did you get right?